The Rulers Of The Jungle

I was interested to learn that the gateway city to the Amazon, Iquitos Peru, has no highways connecting it to the rest of civilization. It's the largest, most populous city in the world that cannot be reached by road. And we already know I decided to float so peacefully down river to arrive. (From Yurimaguas, for all who may have any form of interest)

The germans and I visited a neighbourhood entitled 'Belen' in Iquitos. It has been called the Venice of Iquitos, most certainly not because it was any form of extravagant at all, it was one of the poorest neighbourhoods I've ever seen and I wouldn't be caught dead there, especially at night. It's because of its relation with the river. These people's houses are chained to poles, built to rise and fall with high waters during rainy season. They are on dry land half the year, and in 14 meters of water the next. Fantastic reason to get a yacht, if you ask me.

A visit to the Amazon is not complete without going into the jungle, of course. This feisty adventure I shared with a brother and sister, 2 knockout young peruvians from South Carolina.

Day 1: Arrival

Jolly good boat ride into the abyss of river and trees, we had no idea what we were in for. Arrived at camp and set out immediately, to the beach. But this beach was unlike anything you would ever think of when you hear the word. A chunk of dirt the size of a football field in the middle of the river. I had only one thing on my mind: mud. It was just then that I discovered my deep affection for it. We covered ourselves, completely and happily. The God and Goddesses of Sludge.

And then. Rain. One minute we were laughing, covering ourselves head to toe in the hot sun, and the next it was being washed away like a fire hose. Rain in the Amazon is unlike anything I've ever experienced. So sudden, so intense. Clouds cover the blue sky ridiculously fast, like some freak science fiction movie, lightning constantly flashing all around you. It engulfs you whole until you can't see, you can't breathe. You are under attack by all the water in the world. Mud melted off us as if we shed an entire layer of skin, it left us ridiculously refreshed. It was ridiculously ridiculous. We were The Emperor and Empresses of the Waterworld.

Back to camp, time for some drying off. We are now on our night walk. We followed our peruvian guide through jungle mayhem with a machete. It was quite the informative hike actually. Our guide was a plethora of information when it came to all insects, reptiles and medicinal purposes of plants. We went to bed with fascinated minds.

Day 2: Expedition

Up bright and early for more meanderings, including a sloth expedition. I now understand why it's generally an insult when someone compares you to a sloth. Lovable, adorable, but stupid as hell. It was like watching a hairy oversized retarded child, and I know that's awfully rude of me so please forgive my expression. We shook this helpless being out of the tree and eased it down to the ground for a picture. It should have been ecstatic at the thought of a photoshoot with rich North Americans. But it was too stoned. There was a permanent moronic grin pasted on its sort of vacant happy go lucky face. And then, it defecated all over Ellen. (Sorry Ellen, but I do hope you will agree that it was quite funny) I must admit I have not the faintest idea how these things are still in existence. We set it down and it took the poor thing almost an entire minute to climb 7 feet of tree.

After lunch we walked deeper into the jungle and randomly set up camp, once again the brown man leading, his machete in front.

Try not to brush against the poisonous tarantula to your left, and watch out for the boa wrapped around the tree branch to your right. It's dark now, and let me assure you there are no street lamps in the jungle. Try to keep your balance as frogs ribbet startlingly loud in your ear at random, and swamp water, more than a foot deep, sucks your boots down hard. The thought of anacondas living in this domain makes you sweat even more if possible, in the already unbearable heat. Don't even think of using trees to hold onto, their trunks are covered in 2 inch needles. And finally, just when you think you can manoeuvre yourself no more through the dense forest, everything impossibly thick and close together, you come to a clearing. Aaahhh. But wait, not so fast, this is perhaps where you should be the most cautious. You just stumbled into the lair of possibly the oldest, most deadly killers in the jungle. Known not for speed while catching prey, but for its impeccable ability to strike when its supper has no time to react. Look deep into the glistening eyes of the most silent, slithering and stealthy hunters of all. Crocodiles.

Even amidst the obstacles, we conquered all, triumphantly. A symphony of living organisms playing us our background victory anthem, we fell asleep peacefully rocking in our hammocks. That night we were, unmistakably, The Rulers of the Jungle.

Day 3: On the Way Out

Awake. Ants and mosquitoes inside my net, in my hammock crawling all over me. No better way to start the day.

Beautiful day to fish for piranas in the same place we just swam in.

Back to the beach for a quick cocktail and then it's time to leave the haven of this jungle buffet filled with naught but all types of killers. So long friends, thanks for a roaring good time.

Well now, it were a roaring good time and so were Iquitos.

However, I think it's about time I was in three places at once. Don't you?

Miss Ruler of the Jungle.